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Paula White and Randy White Divorce.

Juanita Bynum and Thomas Weeks Divorce.

Thomas Weeks arrested for abuse and pleads guilty.

Todd Bentley Divorces Wife and Marries Nanny.

A Miracle Can Happen In Your Marriage!
You do not have to settle for divorce OR misery. You can have an outrageously happy marriage, even if these leaders would not.


Rebuild Your Marriage, Recover From Adultery and Abuse, and Enhance any Marriage Using the Life Changing Principles that God Taught us. These Principles Have Given Us an Outrageously Happy Marriage!


If Joel and Kathy Can Do It, SO CAN YOU!

"It truly is the secret to having the most successful marriage anyone ever imagined. Most powerful!" Vernell

"This book will ultimately change the way you see yourself first, then each other and your marriage will never be the same after you read it" Pastor Lance

Pastors Lance & Vernell Alexander
Rivers of Life Christian Ministries
Shreveport, LA.

 

 

Please note: We are not "picking" on Randy and Paula or Juanita and Thomas. We would like nothing more than to have the opportunity to bring a miracle to their marriages. We are well aware that these couples are only the most recent public ministries to be exposed for not living the life behind closed doors that they were publicly proclaiming. Ted Haggard was a conservative, white Christian leader who fought against homosexual marriages, while being an active homosexual behind closed doors.

After writing this article, Todd Bentley joined the ranks. Another minister - known worldwide, who divorces his wife and immediately married his mistress, their children's nanny!

Clarence McClendon is a young black minister who divorced his wife and married his secretary a short time later. Roberts Lairdon is a young white minister who was secretly living a homosexual affair with the youth pastor who was on staff at the church Roberts founded and pastored.

"Bishop" Earl Paulk was a white man who was exposed for having sexual liasons with underaged girls. (Update: Five days after posting this, it turns out that the "Arch Bishop" Earl Paulk slept with his brother's wife and has lived the lie for over thirty years of calling his son that they produced his nephew!)

Go back a few more years to Jimmy Swaggart and his prostitutes; Robert Tilton and his affair and Jim Bakker and his sexual liasons and other improprieties. (Thank God that Jim Bakker is restored and has had a real transformational experience with the Lord Jesus Christ. This did not happen while still being in the pulpit though. His transformation happened while in a secret place. AFTER he was restored, he came back into the pulpit.)

Even the squeaky clean southern baptists were surprised when Charles Stanley's wife left him. Yes, they got back together, but sadly, Charles did not leave the ministry at all for a season of marriage restoration.

These two recent couples are not the first, nor will they be the last two national ministry couples to be exposed for the failed lives they are living behind closed doors. In the days, weeks and months to come, there will be many more leaders exposed for the lives they are currently living behind their closed doors. It is not that they are GOING to fall. They ARE fallen already. They will simply be exposed publicly because they have been unwilling to step out of their pulpits of their own volition. Sadly, many, like Randy and Paula; and Juanita and Thomas, choose to stay in their pulpits even AFTER their lives have been exposed for the failures their lives have been behind closed doors.

At some point, it must stop. Listen to us Pastors, Leaders and national "bishops" and Prophets: If your life behind closed doors is not matching the life that you are preaching and teaching about; if your life at home does not reflect the Glory of God; then step down for a season of restoration.

If you are a husband and wife who is fighting regularly, then stop getting into the pulpits of the world every week. Step down. Work on your marriage. Come to one of our Weekend Marriage Intensives. We know this is not an easy message; but the craziness must stop. Yes, there may be fewer people in pulpits, but less is more, if the pulpits are only filled with people who are living quality lives.

Some support Paula, some support Randy. Some support Juanita. Some support Thomas Weeks. The facts are that all four are at fault. Their marriage issues can be dealt with if they will reach out and ask us for help. The marriage issues are individual and private. However, the hypocrisy cuts a wide swath and all four are guilty. All four individuals should have stepped out of ministry at least two years ago. Instead, all four continued to present themselves as leaders, and still do. Had they, all four, stepped out of ministry two years ago - to work on their marriages, then they could have come back to their pulpits at a later date with marriages and integrity intact. Instead, they continued to let people believe that their marriages were happy and they continued, all four of them, to receive millions of dollars in offerings in order to keep themselves in the public eye - and they stayed in the pulpits of churches, offering a "pastoral" and "bishop" and "prophetess" ministry when their lives were not reflective of the life of Christ. Don't take sides. Demand that all four individuals step out of ministry to focus on their private lives. If individuals continue to support their work, enabling them to stay "in the ministry", then God may NEVER be able to work a restoration in their lives.

The even more recent situation with Todd Bentley has taken this to further depths of "wrong" -as a team of nationally known ministers are working toward "restoring" Todd to ministry with his "new and improved" wife in coming along for the ride.

The following writings give more thoughts along these lines. Remember, we are not picking on just these two couples. These messages are applicable to ALL ministers who are not successfully living a life in their home and marriage that is not representative of the Glory and peace of the God we serve, and the Lord Jesus Christ.

===============================================================================

-"The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!" directs men to free themselves and, most importantly, their mates as Christ has freed us. I challenge Christian men, Black and White, to resist living out the stereotype assigned by popular culture of being clueless schmucks regarding relationships. It is time to buck up and lead our marriages to the blissful state Joel and Kathy now enjoy.

Roderick Burton
Author; The Moral State of Black America

=============================================================

On August 27, 2007 we had just finished a Weekend Marriage Intensive. Three couples, with extremely difficult marriage problems had just received miracles in their marriage.

When we turned our computer on, we discovered the shocking news: Randy and Paula White had announced divorce.

Juanita Bynum had been attacked by her husband, Thomas Weeks. He had turned himself in to the police.

Later reports stated that Thomas Weeks was applauded when he walked to the pulpit on the first or second Sunday after the attack.

Here is a letter that we sent out on August 28th, (and it has been updated a few times since then) followed by an updated commentary by J. Lee Grady, Editor of Charisma Magazine:



THE DIVORCE ANNOUNCEMENT BY RANDY AND PAULA White, Senior Pastors of a 26,000 person church, and HUGE TV personalities; and the revelations of the separation and physical abuse in the marriage of Juanita Bynum and Thomas Weeks, are sending shockwaves through the entire Full Gospel portion of the Body of Christ.

Warning: this is not a condemnation of Randy and Paula White, or of Juanita Bynum and Thomas Weeks. If you are looking for an angry tirade, you will not find it here. If you are looking for real answers, to real questions, presented in a way that will help you make sense of things and get back in balance concerning marriage, and YOUR marriage especially, then stay with us.

These events will have devastating consequences in thousands of marriages. Thousands of couples - who have been hanging onto dim hope in their own marriages - will plunge into hopelessness in the face of the failures of these high level marriages.

Many couples have been encouraged by the preaching of these four individuals: they preached about a God of miracles: A God who offered hope to the hopeless, and hope for hurting marriages.

Now that the truth is out: that these two leadership couples have had serious marriage problems for a long time, complete discouragement will attempt to descend upon many. After all, if these dynamic preachers were not willing to draw upon the Spirit and Love of God to find answers for their troubled marriages, what hope is there for that average couple who has looked at them as major heroes?

Many people are going to be searching for answers:

Couples will ask:

If Randy and Paula cannot make it, how can WE ever make it?

If Juanita and Thomas cannot make it, what makes US think we can be happy?

If THEY are getting divorced, we might as well just give up.

A woman asks:

If Juanita married a man who turned out to be abusive, how can I ever hope to find a good man?

If Randy and Thomas cannot be good enough husbands to hold their marriages together, what makes me think that MY husband can?

A man asks:

If Bishop Weeks, being a Bishop, and being married to Juanita, cannot figure out how to be a great husband, what hope do I have?

If Randy White cannot figure out how to keep his wife happy, I guess I should just give up now!

Christians ask:

Why can't our leaders have happy marriages?

Why do they put their ministries above their marriages?

Who was counseling these two couples?

Who let them stay in the ministry when their marriages were falling apart?

Why didn't anyone ask them to step out of ministry and focus on their marriages?

Can't someone stop the craziness?

Yes, someone can stop the craziness. It is not "pie in the sky" - "God is awesome and will save your marriage" preaching that will stop the craziness. It is real, genuine ministry, brought to you by people who are LIVING a successful marriage, on a daily basis.

If you are considering divorce

If you are considering divorce - and you suddenly feel like you have "permission" to get divorced and live "happily ever after" - because these leaders have chosen this path, hold on! Don't do it - yet. Give yourself a chance that these leaders did not give themselves. (Except, if you are abused physically, DO WHAT JUANITA DID - HAVE HIM ARRESTED and GET A RESTRAINING ORDER! THAT IS THE FIRST STEP IN HIS RECOVERY AS A MAN.)

We have the answers that YOU need to live an Outrageously Happy Marriage.

Couples come to us who are in the worst of the worst marriage situations.

Tom and Susan* contacted us. Tom and Susan had not made love for six years. After reading our two books, they attended our Weekend Marriage Intensive. (*Names are changed, but these are REAL people that came to us for help.) Tom and Susan not only had an astounding marriage restoration, but they also made love THREE times in that first weekend of restoration!

Jim and Lisa contacted us. Lisa had given Jim an ultimatum. Shape up, or divorce! They read our books. They came to our Intensive Weekend. We taught Jim to be a GREAT husband. After a few months, Lisa decided that she DID want to stay with Jim, forever. She revealed that she had been in a three year affair. They spent the weekend in our home with us. They are now experiencing a joyful and COMPLETELY restored marriage.

Jason and Sammi contacted us. He had been in an affair for 25 years. He "kept" both women in style, buying the OW a $350,000 home and a Land Rover. He and his wife and son lived in a million dollar home and she had whatever she wanted. When she discovered the 25 year affair, she lowered the boom. Attorneys were contacted. All the "cards" were stacked in her favor. She was going to come out of the divorce with everything - he was going to be "taken to the cleaners".

They read only the excerpts of our book, and HE called to come to our Weekend Intensive. SHE was not interested, but only came to see him get his head handed to him on a silver platter. Their life was changed. He committed to becoming a great and ACCOUNTABLE husband, dropping all contact with the other woman. They are doing great today. The divorce? It is canceled.

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It does not matter what your marriage problems are.

YOU can learn how to have an OUTRAGEOUSLY HAPPY MARRIAGE - with your CURRENT spouse.

The time is NOW for you to discover our two books. The books are creating miracles in marriages everywhere they are read!

They SHOULD be creating miracles everywhere they are read! After all, Joel was a pastor who got into adultery in 1991 - after being emotionally, mentally, spiritually and verbally abusive. We lived the WRONG way for ten years!

After the adultery, we stayed together, and in 1994, (after surviving those ten years of a frustrating marriage), God taught us a whole new approach to marriage.

This whole new approach to marriage is built solidly on the Word of God.

This new approach to marriage has given us 13 years of an Outrageously Happy Marriage.

It not only works for us, but this approach has given hundreds of other couples a brand new beginning in their marriages!

YOU may not need, nor be interested in getting help in marriage.

HOWEVER, you are going to find opportunities, in the immediate future, (because of this explosion that has been leveled against marriages in the church) to help hurting couples, by sending them to our website, or introducing them to these books.

Our books offer the answers.


Juanita cannot help that she married an abusive man. In truth, Thomas abused her because of wounds and gaps in his character that are explainable, and fixable. Thomas CAN learn to be an amazing husband, just like Joel became a great husband. ANY husband can LEARN how to be a great husband!

We refer men who are severe physical abusers to Life Skills International, and would not recommend any type of reconciliation for Juanita and Thomas until Thomas has gone through their full program for violent husbands. (Founded by Dr. Paul Hegstrom). After Thomas has completed that program, then he would be a candidate for attempting to restore the marriage. We can help with that - AFTER he has begun his recovery as an individual.

Randy and Paula bit off a big job: being successful in a second marriage. There are skills that they can learn to be successful - just like YOU can learn if YOU are in a second marriage. Juanita and Thomas, as we mentioned, could also learn these skills; after Thomas has addressed his abusive core being.

There are many ministries that can help couples learn how to be happily married. We are one couple who has discovered THE secrets to an Outrageously Happy Marriage - we have discovered the secrets and we are very good at communicating them. (Probably because we are LIVING an outrageously happy marriage.) This is what our ministry is dedicated to, 100%.


We teach what we LIVE, and it WORKS.

Our claims are not in fiery preaching about what God might do someday. We live this, and those we teach; and who choose to live it; also experience the joy that God intends in marriage.

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Did Juanita talk to Thomas's ex-wife?

Juanita probably made one huge mistake. She probably did NOT talk to Thomas Weeks' first wife. If you are considering marrying a man, and he is a divorcee, TALK TO HIS WIFE BEFORE MARRYING HIM! If he says that she is crazy, and she says that he was a bad husband, RUN from this man. DO NOT MARRY HIM. Women make this mistake SO OFTEN. They BELIEVE the man who is TRYING TO CONVINCE HER TO MARRY HIM. They do not even bother to ASK the ex-wife, ex-girlfriends etc. what he is REALLY like after she said, "I do."

Randy takes responsibility for divorce?

Randy is quoted as saying that he takes full responsibility for the divorce. This is great, but it means nothing. Randy, if you are willing to take responsibility, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR RESTORING YOUR MARRIAGE. Take responsibility, NOW, for restoration. We can teach you what you need to learn to heal Paula's heart and restore your relationship. Thomas, take responsibility to get healed of your abusive core nature. THEN take responsibility to work toward restoring your marriage. START THIS PROCESS BY GETTING OUT OF THE PULPIT!

People will doubt leaders even more.

Because of these developments, many believers will doubt their leaders even more. As of now, that may be a good thing. It is time for the superstar leaders to disappear. If you want our help, you can COME TO OUR HOME. You can MEET US in the flesh. (Yes, we will ask you for an offering, as we do ministry full time - we are not just inviting thousands of people to come to our home for dinner for free!)

HOWEVER, if you WANT OUR HELP, you can meet us. You can meet our kids. You can spend a whole weekend at one of our Intensive Weekends. You stay at a hotel, of course, but you are UP FRONT AND PERSONAL with us for about 20 hours.

 

Chapter 19 of "The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!

Chapter 19 of our first book is titled, "It it doesn't work at home, DON'T export it!" It is a direct word, calling Pastors and leaders to get things right in their home, FIRST. (sorry, the following repeats some previous thoughts as we have added to this letter over the last thirty days)

If your home is a mess, step out of ministry and FIX it. If you are high level, ask your core supporters to continue supporting you so that you do not have to get a job at 7-11, but regardless, get out of the ministry for a couple years and create a happy marriage!

Take a hard look at the rest of your leaders. What is their marriage like? If someone is not successful in their marriage, they need to step back, for a season to pursue a happy marriage with their husband/wife.


This overemphasis on ministry, regardless of the life that is being experienced behind closed doors, is the serious character error that was displayed by all four involved. Marriage issues do not necessarily reflect bad character. Staying in the pulpit, when you have serious marriage issues reflects bad character.

This is one other area that they all four failed in: They all should have stepped out of ministry for a season, and they should have stepped out of ministry many moons ago - when their marriage issues first began to become serious. Incredulously, all four are STILL in active ministry as of this moment (this letter is being updated on October 1) Wow. This is truly like an episode of the "Twilight Zone!" Paula, Randy, Juanita, Thomas; we beg you. Do SOMETHING right. Step out of ministry for a season of recovery as individuals. All four of you have lived a lie for the last couple years. You have misled the body of Christ into donating hundreds of thousands of dollars; in some cases, MILLIONS of dollars into your ministries- by representing that you were experiencing the abundant life of love that God offers us. All the while, you KNEW that you were not experiencing a happy marriage behind closed doors.

Leaders, if you are not having a happy marriage, behind closed doors, do the right thing: Work on your marriage. You can contact us, read our books, and come to a Weekend Marriage Intensive. We will help you to have an Outrageously Happy Marriage - but if you are not willing to do this, quit playing the same charade that Paula, Randy, Juanita and Thomas were playing. If YOU are not experiencing the love of God in you home, QUIT exporting your dysfunction! Quit misleading the body of Christ by preaching about a God who can heal marriages when you yourself are not experiencing the miracle that God DOES offer for marriages. Your MARRIAGE is important. Your ministry is expendable.

(We acknowledge regularly, that sometimes one person in a marriage is completely unwilling to work on the marriage. This fact does not necessarily mean that the innocent party should step out of ministry - IF they are being transparent about their marriage troubles with the people they are ministering to, and IF they are doing everything in their power to try and get the uncooperative spouse to agree to working on the marriage. However, when a couple is in national ministry, then they should step out of the pulpit for a season, regardless. In addition, when a couple has lived a charade, and has been on national TV, or pastors a large church, (as the White's and Bynum/Weeks have done) then they should step out of ministry to get their personal walk of integrity with the Lord healed. Be very, very careful though, if it is a man claiming that he is the innocent party. The list is endless of men who have stood in pulpits; claiming that their wive's were crazy for divorcing them; when in reality, the man had been abusive, or been a serial adulterer for years! Our position is this: if a man cannot keep ONE LITTLE 'OL WIFE happy, and she leaves him, or divorces him, then he has no business being in the pulpit, regardless of his excuses. Yes, Charles Stanley, you should have gotten out of the pulpit for a season when your wife left you.)

What is a good sign, that a ministry leadership team is doing the right thing? They would say and live something along these lines: "We are having marriage troubles. We are doing our absolute best to find the solutions and we WILL find solutions. We are not trying to mislead you by making you think we have a great marriage. All is NOT well. We are teachable before the Lord, and we want to read any book that has ever made a real difference in your life and we are willing to attend any marriage restoration weekend that has made a difference in your life. (This means we want you to share things with us that have helped you.) We are going to be ministering the Word on things that will help our marriage over the next months. We hope those things help you. Our priority right now is to get our marriage healed. The ministry is secondary to that. Some of you are strong. You can be patient and stand with us while we are seeking our healing. Some of you may decide that you should not sit under our ministry for this season. We accept that. We want what is best for you. Don't hurt yourself by sitting under us if you are not strong enough for that."

If a ministry couple presents things as stated in this last paragraph, then that is integrity.

They would follow this up with ministering as "real" people, with gut level honesty, speaking through their pain; they would not "compartmentalize" their dysfunction and continue preaching a bunch of hype about how God is going to do a miracle for you today. Get the miracle in your own life, leaders, THEN you can get happy and preach about the God of miracles. (And your preaching will be from strength, NOT from fantasy.)

What should YOUR response be to these tragedies?

Pull into your marriage, even stronger. In athletics, they call this "staying within yourself." Focus on your marriage. Focus on your spouse, focus on your children.

Make special efforts to improve your marriage, NOW. Read our two books. Order our DVD seminar, or register for an intensive. Order a book by Ken Nair or Paul Hegstrom. Consider yourself in "school" to learn how to be happily married. Minister to one another in your marriage relationship.

Stay within yourself. Focus on your marriage. Focus, focus, focus. Decide that you WILL have a stronger marriage as a result of this. Consider these public marriage failures your wake up call. Realize that you have an enemy who roams about, seeking whom he MAY devour. If you stay in love, in your marriage, he cannot devour you. Focus. Focus. Focus.

You CAN have an Outrageously Happy Marriage -

REGARDLESS of the marriage issues, and REGARDLESS of what ANYONE ELSE EXPERIENCES. The Word of God says, "Though a thousand fall at your left hand and 10,000 at your right, it shall not come near you."


YOUR MARRIAGE CAN BE HAPPY.

YOUR MARRIAGE CAN BE SUCCESSFUL.

For the men:

You need to get very real, and get very serious with your marriage issues. Randy White gave verbal play to being responsible for the divorce. That is not even close to what a man needs to do. A man needs to take responsibility for RESTORATION. Read the books. Get to an Intensive.


YOU have to do the right things that will create a successful marriage.


It is NOW.


It is TODAY.


It is TIME to GET REAL.

Having a happy marriage is WORTH the effort to get there!

We are living an Outrageously Happy Marriage now.


It is very easy, NOW.


It was hard work for a season, but for the last twelve years, it has been VERY easy.


Take it from us.


A happy marriage with your CURRENT spouse is worth WHATEVER it takes to get there!

If you both are wiling, you can GET THERE!

Blessings!

Joel and Kathy Davisson

-"The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!" directs men to free themselves and, most importantly, their mates as Christ has freed us. I challenge Christian men, Black and White, to resist living out the stereotype assigned by popular culture of being clueless schmucks regarding relationships. It is time to buck up and lead our marriages to the blissful state Joel and Kathy now enjoy.

Roderick Burton
Author; The Moral State of Black America

PS You may request free excerpts of "The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!"

Request Excerpt of Book One

 

Wife Beaters and Abusive Preachers: Let’s Arrest the Violence

by J. Lee Grady, Editor: Charisma Magazine

This article by J. Lee Grady, concerning Juanita Bynum and Thomas Weeks III was originally published as a "Fire in My Bones" article on or near September 14, 2007.


What happened last month between Bishop Thomas Weeks III and Juanita Bynum raises serious concerns about both domestic and spiritual abuse.


I’ve been holding my tongue for a few weeks since I learned that Bishop Thomas Weeks III was arrested after being accused of kicking, choking and hitting his wife, prominent preacher Juanita Bynum, in a hotel parking lot in Atlanta on Aug. 22. We did not need another embarrassing display of religious hypocrisy played out in the national media.


The incident gave the whole church a black eye and bruised our reputation. When I first heard that Weeks excused his actions (the devil made him do it, he claims) and that his congregation cheered his return to the pulpit (after he fled from police and then posted $40,000 bail), I was riled. What was this guy thinking?


“We are not going to release God’s healing to a broken world with threats, hateful speech and a loveless gospel.”


It’s outrageous. A Pentecostal bishop beat his wife so badly she had to go to the hospital. Weeks, of course, says there is another side to the story. I guess we’ll hear his version in the courtroom, where he will face the possibility of jail time.


Meanwhile, Bynum has announced she will divorce her husband, whom she married in 2003. The romance between Weeks and “Prophetess Bynum” was compared to a fairy tale: A poor girl from the projects who was once on welfare becomes one of the most popular—and wealthiest—women preachers in America.


When Bynum walked down the aisle with Weeks, she wore a 7.7-carat diamond ring in a ceremony that cost more than $1 million. The couple then started Global Destiny Church in suburban Atlanta and later hosted marriage conferences. Weeks even wrote a book called Teach Me How to Love You, in which he offered advice on sex and resolving conflicts.


It was not supposed to end like this.


At a press conference Bynum convened a few days after the assault, she announced confidently that she is moving on. She said she would rebound and use her experience to galvanize awareness of abuse. “Today, domestic violence has a face and a name, and it is Juanita Bynum,” she said.


That probably means she’ll write a book about her ordeal, and perhaps launch a speaking tour. No doubt this will appeal to the throngs of women who share her pain.


There’s no question that we need more advocates for battered women. Domestic violence is an ugly issue that has been ignored by the church, mostly because so many pastors don’t know how to counsel abused women or how to confront the men who hurt them.


But I have another concern. Before Bynum starts her campaign, I hope she will examine her own spitfire preaching style. I’m all for rousing sermons, but what Bynum often offers her audiences is downright mean.


Eleven days before the Atlanta incident, Bynum told women at a large conference that they needed to learn to become harsh. Shocking clips of her comments were then posted on YouTube. Bynum told of how she corrected an unnamed assistant for being too nice when carrying out her orders. “I’m trying to teach you to be a bulldog!” she declared with gritted teeth and a hateful expression.


When women did not shout loud enough after her comments, Bynum threatened them too. “If somebody don’t start praising God right here, I’m gonna have to hit somebody with this microphone,” she said. She also implied that women who treat others with polite restraint are “too suburb” and need to learn the street-wise tactics of the ghetto.


Is this the new face of domestic violence? An angry woman preacher who threatens to hit people? A “bulldog” who barks orders and treats subordinates rudely? Please. I agree that people need to learn to be assertive, but Bynum seems to think the fruit of the Holy Spirit is no longer necessary.


We need to declare a timeout and demand some sanity before the American church is hijacked by carnality. Bynum’s angry rhetoric is out of bounds. Her behavior behind the pulpit is not a good example for women or men. Somebody needs to lovingly but firmly challenge it before this turns into something even uglier.


I’m not defending Weeks, who should spend time behind bars and be removed from church leadership if it is proven that he assaulted his wife. But before Bynum launches her anti-violence crusade, she needs to cool her heels and adjust her attitude. You can’t fight fire with fire, and you can’t heal a battered woman by training her to become vindictive.


We should have zero tolerance of any form of domestic violence. But while we learn to address this huge social problem, let’s also crack down on verbal abuse in the pulpit. We are not going to release God’s healing to a broken world with threats, hateful speech and a loveless gospel.


J. Lee Grady is the editor of Charisma.

You may request free excerpts of "The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!"

Request Excerpt of Book One

Now, you may want to go to our questions and answers page that features Real Questions and Real Answers From Real People, addressing the most difficult issues in marriages! Click here: Counseling Q&A

Or, You may prefer to read testimonies from all over the world - from couples who have received miracles in their marriages from reading the two books featured on this website: Testimonies

Or, You may prefer to go to our order page and order these life changing books RIGHT NOW! If so, click here: Order Now

Or, you may prefer to see our Itinerary and learn about our Weekend Marriage Intensives! If so, click here: Itinerary

We also offer Nationwide Group Marriage Mentoring. See Itinerary page for more information! Itinerary

We also offer a marriage mentoring forum where you can get help from us and other couples who have been helped in their marriages. www.JoelandKathy.com/boards/

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UPDATE

Juanita Bynum, Thomas Weeks Finalize Divorce
Both Thomas W. Weeks III and evangelist Juanita Bynum say they are moving forward with their lives and ministries after their public marriage ended June 20.
 
Juanita Bynum, Thomas Weeks Finalize Divorce
[06.24.08] Thomas W. Weeks III and evangelist Juanita Bynum said they are moving on with their lives after their public and turbulent marriage ended June 20, roughly a month before the couple’s sixth wedding anniversary.

Bynum said the divorce is “not a sad thing,” the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported. “I always said that, ‘This too shall pass,’ and it just did.” (Note from J and K: Why didn't you reach out for help, Juanita. We can help Thomas to recover and see a marriage restoration, with God's help. And, please, wait a minute. A divorce is not a sad thing? What is it? A happy thing? Can someone say, "Their coming to take me away, ha ha! Their coming to take me away! To the funny farm - where the men in the white suits are coming to take me away hee hee, haw haw, to the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time." In case that dates us, the words are from a song that was popular in the early 70's. Juanita - get a grip. You spent how many millions of dollars getting married? How much did that ring cost? Not a sad thing? Yes it is. Get real. You two need a break from ministry, AND you need to give God a chance to change Thomas - and a chance to give a restoration. I am now a bit angry - yes, I am, - but the invitation is still official for you two, and for Randy and Paula - come to an Intensive. God can help you through the gift that he has put into us.

Weeks said he will always have a “special love” for Bynum but is moving on with his life and ministry. “It feels like a new day—a brand-new life, a brand-new time,” he told Atlanta media. (Note from J and K: This is on the level of being called "sick". Feels like a new day? Not until you step out of ministry and get healed of your core/abuse nature.)

According to a 14-page divorce settlement, neither party will receive alimony. Weeks will maintain ownership of his international ministry and Global Destiny Ministries, the church the couple founded in Duluth, Ga. Bynum requested some antiques she had collected and agreed to pay $40,000 in attorney fees for Weeks. Their bank accounts were divided, and each party will retain ownership of the debt and assets they had before marriage.
“It’s an even-handed agreement where they can move on with their lives and each keep what they have,” said Randy Kessler, Weeks’ attorney. (Move on with their lives? Sick, sick sentiment. I cannot come up with a better word.)

Bynum and Weeks married in July 2002, nine months prior to a ceremony televised on the Trinity Broadcasting Network that included an 80-member wedding party and 10-piece orchestra. They separated in June 2007, but their troubles burst into national headlines Aug. 21 after Weeks was arrested for attacking his estranged wife in the parking lot of Atlanta’s Renaissance Concourse Hotel.
           
Although Weeks maintained his innocence of spousal abuse, in mid-March he pleaded guilty to aggravated assault. Weeks, who received three years’ probation and 200 hours of community service, said he wanted to protect his wife from further scrutiny. “I wanted to bring closure [to the trial] so that she wouldn’t feel that I was trying to make this just a public matter to publicize a whole lot of negative things that would have come out,” Weeks told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
           
During the criminal trial, Weeks hinted that the couple was discussing reconciliation. But when those discussions broke down, Weeks re-released a tell-all book about his marriage titled What Love Taught Me. In it he includes chapters with titles such as “I’d Rather Push You Now Than Punch You Later” and “She Wanted to Be the Next Oprah at Any Cost.” (I still cannot come up with a better word. Sick, sick, sick stuff. You two need to come to a Weekend Marriage Intensive and give God a chance.)

In late April, Bynum revealed in a Divorce Court interview that she had battled with depression and thoughts of suicide after separating from her husband. Speaking with Judge Lynn Toler, Bynum said embarrassment and the fear of ending her ministry career made her reluctant to talk about her struggles as a victim of domestic violence. “You are trained in the traditional sense of religion to be the person that is always fine,” Bynum said. “I found myself trying to live up to that. … I didn’t want to look stupid.” (The looking stupid comes when you don't reach out for help for your marriage - and then use this circumstance to further glorify yourself. Take a break Juanita. The world simply does not need you that bad. Get out of the spotlight for a few years. Sheesh.)

Bynum said she has been hired as a regular adviser on Divorce Court and was permanently added to the cast of the ABC Family series Lincoln Heights, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported. (Just what you need, eh, Juanita?)
           
The case follows the split of another well-known pastoral couple, Randy and Paula White of Without Walls International Church in Tampa, Fla. Last summer, the Whites announced they were ending their 18-year marriage. (And why didn't you two reach out for help? Come to a Weekend Marriage Intensive. God will meet you here. For that matter, since there must be a few other couples at least, get together with Juanitan and Thomas and a few other high level ministers with broken marriages - and let's have a weekend for you guys.)
           
Jimmy Evans, founder of the Dallas-based ministry Marriage Today, said both couples’ divorces are damaging to the body of Christ because people look to their leaders as examples and base a lot of their actions on what leaders do. “It’s just like what a parent does or does not [do] is a model for their child and gives them permission to do the same thing,” Evans said.

In Bynum’s case, he thinks there is a great deal of sympathy for her because she was abused. (Yes, we agree, it is not her fault that she was abused. However, it is her fault that she continued to stay in the pulpit, and hid her husband's sin. She preached about a God that she did not experience on a daily basis.) However, Evans doesn’t extend that to the Whites, saying he senses “outrage” among many Christians because they didn’t identify the reasons for their divorce.

“There’s a culture of this among high-profile, charismatic ministers, and they get away with it,” said Evans, former senior pastor and now senior elder of Trinity Fellowship Church in Amarillo, Texas. “They don’t stop in ministry and don’t submit themselves to counseling for reconciliation or restoration. It’s devastating to the institution of marriage and the ability of ministers to uphold a standard to their flock.”
           
Atlanta-area minister Cynthia Hale agreed high-profile divorces make her job tougher, but doesn’t expect these two to have much impact on churches there. The real blow came last August when both incidents made headlines the same week, she said.

Hale, senior pastor of Ray of Hope Christian Church in Decatur, Ga., told her congregation last August that they had to pray for all spiritual leaders who are on the front lines. “This is kind of an aftershock,” she said. “I’m not saying it will go by unnoticed, but I think people have pretty much moved on at this point.”

Any time there is a scandal involving a minister it makes her job more challenging because people outside the church question what is different about being in Christ, she said. It also forces introspection among pastors, who must examine themselves and ask how they can live out the gospel when they have feet of clay, Hale added.

“We just try to address it as openly and honestly as we can: Here are the realities and God’s power is still the greatest power—there’s nothing like it,” Hale said. “God can do anything and everything, but of course humans have free will and make choices.” —Ken Walker
If your marriage has been ravaged by adultery, porn, other marital problems, divorce, emotional abuse, mental abuse or verbal abuse, then allow Joel and Kathy Davisson to help you!
 
Joel was a Pastor in 1991 when he got into an affair. He then continued to abuse Kathy with spiritual abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse and emotional abuse. Joel's infidelity and continuing abuse almost caused a divorce.
 
In 1994, Joel and Kathy attended a week of training at Life Skills International with Dr. Paul Hegstrom. There they learned that Joel was an abusive husband. Their marriage restoration began immediately. In 2004, after ten years of living an extraordinarily happy marriage, God led the Davisson's to write The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!
 
Now, through this marriage ministry, Joel and Kathy help couples with every type of marriage problems, such as: recovery from porn addiction, adultery, abuse and help for a myriad of other marital problems.
 
The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His Ministry includes marriage training opportunities and marriage support. This marital support includes marriage seminars, their signature Weekend Marriage Intensive, phone marriage counseling and personal marriage mentoring. The Weekend Marriage Intensive is a combination of marriage retreat, divorce prevention and a Marriage Workshop.
 
The Weekend Marriage Intensive Marriage Retreats conducted by Joel and Kathy have brought about remarriage after divorce, rekindling of romantic love, adultery recovery and recovery from every other kind of unfaithfulness in marriage.
 
Marriage coaching and couples coaching is available for FREE on Joel and Kathy's online marriage forum at www.joelandkathy.com/boards/ 
 
The marital advice, marital counseling, relationship advice and answers for married couples problems that are found in the marriage tools offered here often bring immediate marriage recovery. This ministry is a marriage builder in every way. The marriage help that is available for marriage problems combines the best of relationship workshops, marriage enrichment and communication skills. Other Marriage Builder's - such as Tom and Judy Shewmake, of Connecting Relationships, utilize the marriage training and marriage support that is offered by this marriage recovery and marriage restoration ministry. Professional marriage counselors also utilize the books in their marriage counseling practice.
 
Joel and Kathy's entire ministry functions as a support group for husbands and wives. Husband and wife alike will want to utilize the relationship counseling and marriage support that is available to recover from severe to moderate relationship problems. If you are looking for divorce prevention, recovery from an extra-marital affair, or affairs, and have tired of traditional marriage advice; if you would like to rekindle the dream of love and romance in your marriage, if you would like to eliminate control and manipulation in your marriage, if you need to have restoration from a marital separation - and would like to experience a renewed love affair  with your spouse; you have found the answers with Joel and Kathy's marriage ministry!
 
Couples everywhere are enjoying love affairs again, with their marriage partner, after reading the 2 marriage books that are written by Joel and Kathy: The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His! and Book 2: Livin' it and Lovin' it!  
 
The book(s) are endorsed by Charles and Frances Hunter, Billy Joe Daugherty, Dr. Paul Hegstrom, founder of Life Skills International, Richard Sigmund, author of A Place Called Heaven and many other counselors, Pastors and teachers.
 
Instead of looking to divorce recovery - how about pursuing divorce prevention!
 
Instead of a private investigator, how about reading these marriage recovery books and learn how to restore intimacy in married life from people who have been where you are! We and many couples whom Joel and Kathy have helped are now experiencing an Outrageously Happy Marriage!
 
Be sure to go the web page that has over 200 testimonies from people who have attended a Weekend Marriage Intensive! Read the regular Testimony Page that has many testimonies from couples who have simply read the books and received a marriage miracle. Look at the Counseling Q & A page for answers that have been offered to other couples with marital problems just like yours! If you are a man who has lost your wife's heart and need to restore the relationship, go the page that is For Men. You will find a lot of writing to real life men in your shoes - men who ended up winning their wife's heart back. The links for these pages are at the top left of this page in the menu.
 
Your marriage can recover from any and every type of marriage problem. God's way for marriage works! In a nutshell, "God's Way" looks like this: Mutual Submission, Mutual Respect, Mutual Honor and Team Leadership in the home and marriage. God's perfect plan is for you to experience an Outrageously Happy Marriage! Marriage is God's best idea for us to experience happiness while on earth! Marriage IS meant to make you happy! The enemy has often thwarted God's plan for marriage - but now you can redeem the time. Your evil days can be turned into glad days! You can be Outrageously Happily Married! You can have a MIRACLE in YOUR marriage! If Joel and Kathy can do it, SO CAN YOU!

 


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